Wedding Seating Chart Tool

Have you ever wished you had an EASY tool to draw a floor plan of your reception? Well, Wedding Mapper makes your wish come true. This is as easy as it gets. You can specify the size of the room, and click and drag round and oblong tables, a dance floor and other objects onto the floor plan to see how crowded or how luxurious the room feels.

As though that isn't enough, they also have a seating chart tool that allows you to seat guests at tables, move them around, or remove them if they misbehave.

Oh, and did I mention? It's F-R-E-E-!

New Trend in Veils - the Bird Cage

Q:  What's the latest in veils? 

A:  Bird cage veils are making a comeback. Not since the Hollywood glamour days of the 1940s have these veils, and the hair accessories, been so in vogue. Maybe it started when Drew Barrymore wore one on Grey Gardens. Maybe it is the compromise between having a traditional length veil and no veil at all. 

Whatever is responsible for the trend, it is undoubtedly stylish and flattering to almost every bride.    

Where can you get the components - feathers, combs, tulle? At your local fabric store, a phenomenal store such as Britex on Union Square in San Francisco, or at Unveiled Bridal Designs online.

Here are a few more examples.

Promises and Pearls

Dear Lovely Brides,

Would you like to be invited to an elegant evening at which you can learn more about services for your wedding? No hassles, no pressure, just pure enjoyment.

Well, let me invite you to register for Promises and Pearls, a complimentary evening on July 8, from 6 PM to 9 PM at the Payne Mansion in San Francisco. It will be hosted by Michelle at MB Wedding Design and Events, a lovely and dedicated event planner full of great design ideas.

Oh - and make sure you stop by The Flirty Guide booth and say "Hi!" to my good friend Stacie Tamaki. Her roster of event professionals is top notch. We are proud to be on her list.

Tell your friends! Go and have a good time! Enjoy!

Why I Love 'Don't Tell the Bride'

OK I admit it. I've become hooked on that British TV show Don't Tell the Bride. The premise is that a groom gets $20,000 to plan the wedding. The catch is that he has to plan the wedding in 30 days and he can't talk with the bride or get her input. And $20,000 doesn't go any further in merry old England than it does in the States.

Why do I love it so? Because I've learned something and confirmed another. 

First, almost all of the grooms hire the first venue they come across. Rookie mistake. Sometimes this takes up 50% or more of their budget! Those castles in England don't come cheap. But then the grooms are left with so little money, they can only cater a barbeque on the castle lawn (!), or go cap in hand to beg for additional funds from their parents. I suppose this is what makes for drama and humor. Often a level-headed friend will set it all to rights ("Are you crazy? You can't have a barbeque at a wedding!"). Or some considerate wedding professional will give good advice or a good deal to pull them out of the hole they've dug. 

For once, a reality show reflects reality. Couples feel pressured to hire or buy elements of their wedding as quickly as they find them for fear they'll never find anything else that suits them. Don't do it! Do some research to see what prices are realistic IN EVERY CATEGORY in the city where your wedding will take place so you can set priorities and make good choices. Otherwise, will this really be the wedding of your dreams? Spending a little more time on research and setting priorities up front will save a lot of heartache later.

After making that initial mistake, the grooms go on to make an even bigger one. They ALWAYS pick a dress that their brides HATE. After many tears (hers) and gnashing of teeth (his),  the groom manages to scrape up enough money to buy a second dress even though he couldn't get any money back for the first dress. He has made his bride happy about the one thing that mattered most to her. Then the bride is able to give the groom the one thing that matters most to him - appreciation for his efforts, no matter how things turned out. The bride maintains a regal bearing and a bemused look as she surveys the rest of the groom's odd decisions.

That brings me to what has been confirmed. 

What it really comes down to is understanding what is important to each key participant - bride, groom, parents - before going on the first site visit. Then, it's a balancing act to make sure everyone is happy, while sticking to the budget. The extent to which the bride and groom understand, communicate and respect each other's wishes and feelings, and those of their families, gives a clue about how the rest of their married life will go.

It won't be long now before they come up with the American version. I can't wait.

Get Married

Do you know the fun Lifetime TV show Get Married hosted by celebrity event designer Colin Cowie? The show is best known for bringing the latest trends and inspirations to brides.

Well, in addition to their hit TV show and their great website, Get Married is launching a new national wedding magazine and the first issue will appear on newsstands in October, 2009. You can reserve your FREE copy now by sending Get Married an email.

More details to follow...

Something Borrowed, Something Blue

Brides are seeking creative ways to carry on through these troubled economic times and still have stylish weddings. So, in the spirit of having style on a budget, but still having the real deal, here's a suggestion.  

Celebrities who walk the red carpet borrow real jewels to accessorize their fabulous gowns. Although you are not likely to be able to waltz into Chopard, Harry Winston, or Fred Leighton and borrow a bauble, you can rent real jewelry for your wedding. 

The necklaces Adorn offers are worth from $1500 to $70,000; bracelets worth from $3000 to $20,000; and earrings are worth from $2000 to $20,000. You can rent these jewels for 3% to 5% of their retail value for a few days, from $90 each.

Just 'cause you're on a budget doesn't mean you can't be princess for a day.

Bridal Canvas

You're smart, sophisticated, have good taste and know what you want. All you need is the tool to collect all those great ideas you've seen on Style Me Pretty, Snippet & Ink, Melissa's Smitten and other great wedding blogs and create your own inspiration board. Fast and easy. Now you've found it. Introducing Bridal Canvas.

This website steps you through how to save your favorite elements - decor, apparel, flowers, food, colors, and combine them into a pleasing whole on a "canvas". Hey arts & crafts hasn't been this fun since the 4th grade!

Are Wedding Gifts Optional?

Well, there seems to be a bit of a stir over the New York Times' March 14, 2009 article, Wedding Bells' Toll which stated, "...the only wedding event for which a present is absolutely required is the bridal shower." I always thought giving a wedding gift was definitely required unless explicitly told by the bride and groom "No gifts. I really mean it. Absolutely no gifts." What are your thoughts about this, gentle reader?

The gist of the article is that guests on a limited budget can give creative gifts such as concert tickets, a mixing bowl with a special recipe or even a dozen white kitchen towels from Ikea. Letitia Baldrige, the etiquette expert shares her money-saving secret. Go to an unknown antique shop, buy something inexpensive, and write a lovely note saying the item is very old and from Vienna. 

We've seen some creative ideas. Once, our services were the only item on the registry. As many guests as wished to chipped in and bought the couple their wedding movie. Or how about sending the newlyweds a bottle of wine or bubbly or dessert wine to celebrate their 1-month, 6-month and 1-year anniversary? One of our best wedding gifts was a cooler for all our picnics and outings. I think we use that more than any other gift we received. 

DIY Your Own Wedding Faire

What are you doing today from 11 AM to 4 PM? The Hotel Cabana in Palo Alto is having a FREE wedding fair. But with a twist. 

Our good friend Stacie Tamaki of The Flirty Guide will be moderating a panel discussion of how to DIY four elements of your wedding at 1 PM. 

Joining her will be the fantastic Sabrina Moyel of Hello!Lucky who will talk about DIY invitations. Ron Grandia will talk about how to DJ your iPod wedding. Sachi Yamazaki of Fleurty will demonstrate how to DIY your flowers. And yours truly will be giving practical tips on how to DIY your wedding video so everyone will love it.

There will be food, displays and lots of good information and ideas. There will also be a fashion show at 2 PM.

Although it's free, your advance registration is appreciated. 

Register for a FREE VIP pass and FREE valet parking at...

Phone:  650.857.0787

Email:  sales.catering@cabanapaloalto.net

Genealogy - It's in the Genes

Genealogy used to be a hobby for the elderly. No more! Marriages are about two people and two families joining together. Here is a tangible symbol which reflects your personality by Melangerie in NYC.

Melangerie's modern memorabilia detail the relationships of the bride and groom to their various guests, whether immediate family or childhood friend.

Each chart is customized in style and color to match your decor. Just think of the fun when you discover that cute guy is your fourth cousin twice removed!

Wedding University Coming Soon!

Learning is a lifelong pursuit...so here's your chance to learn much more about how to choose wisely when engaging wedding professionals.  

We are honored to have been selected to represent the category of videography and cinematography at the First Annual Wedding University of the Bay Area.  And, we were the first professional Jubilee Lau, the organizer blogged about in The Wedding University blog.

This is by no means a wedding fair.  It is an all-day seminar filling with practical, useful, HONEST information on how to stretch your wedding dollars regardless of budget.  You have direct access to great wedding professionals from 19 different companies.  We've worked with most and can recommend them to you on a professional and personal level. Plus, you will get to sample great Four Seasons Hotel food, drink and cakes; see examples of excellent wedding design, learn how to dance, and see a runway show of men's and women's fashions.

Here are the details:

Sunday, February 8, 11 AM - 5 PM

Four Seasons Hotel, Silicon Valley

2050 University Avenue, East Palo Alto

$25 for 1 person | $40 for 2 people

Free Self-Parking

Please RSVP to Cassie Conching, 650.470.2894 or 

     Jubilee Lau, 408.235.8889

Space is limited, so please call early to avoid disappointment.

The assembled experts are:

Event Planning: Jubilee Lau | Jubilee Lau Events and

     Jean Marks | Jean Marks Weddings

Event Design: Gloria Wong Tritasavit| Sash & Sugar

Catering, Cakes and Venues: Julie Kiendra | Four Seasons Hotel

Invitations:  Viola Sutanto | Chewing the Cud

Floral Design: Nancy Liu Chin | Nancy Liu Chin Designs

Tabletop and Furniture Rentals: Heidi Bianchi | Hartmann Studios

Linens and Chair Covers: Lily Yeung |Wildflower Linens

Lighting:  John and Megan Woods | Enhanced Lighting

Cinematography:  Chuck & Jewel Savadelis | Savadelis Films

Photography:  Geoff and Lara White | Geoff White Photographers 

     and Kevin Chin | Kevin Chin Photography

Beauty: Armando | Get Your Do Up

Bridal Gowns:  Gabrielle Medrano-Contreras | Gabrielle's Bridal Salon

Tuxedos: Dan Thomas | Eli Thomas for Men

DJs: Ron Grandia | A Different Kind of DJ and Carl Mindling | The Only DJ

Dance Instructor: Cynthia Glinka | On the Dance Floor

Music Agent:  Peter Rudolfi | Artists in Music

Publicity for Silicon Valley Wedding Professionals

A local lifestyle magazine is featuring a wedding issue in Summer, 2009.  Not just any wedding, but a vow renewal ceremony. They are looking for San Francisco Bay Area (specifically Silicon Valley), event planners, florists, set designers, wedding apparel specialists, venues, and anything else related to weddings for a photo spread and article.  If you would like to contribute to this actual ceremony (not a staged shoot), contact the Features Editor, Erin Robison, at  erin@everymommagazine.com.

Raise Your Glasses...

In Four Weddings and a Funeral, Hugh Grant's character is a sweet and lovable bumbling bloke who awkwardly delivers a toast at a wedding.  This has inspired many a best man to think he too can bumble through the toast and that everyone will laugh on cue.  Well...not really. Hugh Grant was a well-rehearsed actor, speaking from a well-honed script, to a room full of actors who were paid to laugh on cue.

We've filmed and edited a fair number of toasts in our time.  Since we see each toast many times while editing it we have a unique viewpoint.  We thought we'd pass along some observations about some toasts that stand above the rest.

The best toasts come from the heart. This takes real courage.  These toasts are full of truth and sometimes give voice to thoughts and feelings that have never been spoken.  We remember a father telling his son for the first time in his life that he was proud of his accomplishments. We've seen one brother tell his brother the groom that he was grateful for all the times the groom fought off the grade school bullies, that he had always looked up to the groom and only wished he could be half the man his brother was.  And we've seen grooms eloquently express their respect, gratitude and love for their brides.  There's nothing quite as endearing as a man declaring his love for his wife in front of a room full of family and friends.

The best toasts are well prepared and well rehearsed.  No one, not even a professional public speaker, can reliably deliver a great speech extemporaneously.  When the toaster is familiar with what he is going to say, he can say it with ease, in a relaxed way, often with humor.   The consequence of poor preparation is rambling--how boring!  

The best toasts are brief.  It is much harder to be succinct, but the reward is often a more powerful message.

The best toasts focus on the bride and groom, not the toaster.

The best toasts wish the couple well.

The best toasts have humor in good taste.

The best toasts come from people who are sober.  Being tipsy can make you think everything you say is funny even though no one else does.

Grooms ask "Do I have to give a toast?"  It's not required, but it is gracious.  

"What do I need to say?"  Three things, in your own words:

1.  Thank you all for coming.  We appreciate the effort it took for you to be with us.  You have contributed to our joy on this day.

2.  My wife and I would like to thank our family and friends for everything they have done for us.  But most of all, we'd like to thank our parents for giving us such perfect role models for how to nurture a long and happy marriage, and love each other every day.

3.  A personal message to your bride:  Thank you for making me the happiest man in the world today.  There is no one else on earth with whom I would rather spend the rest of my life. Would you all please raise your glasses to toast my beautiful bride.

Proposal Planner

Deck the Halls with boughs of holly
Fa la la la la, la la la la la
'Tis the season
To make a proposal

Yes, we are coming into "high season" for gentlemen to go down on one knee. We've heard of so many wonderful proposals. The most successful were not the ones that cost the most, but the ones that were created with a lot of thought toward what the bride would cherish.

The first question is whether to ask her Father for permission. Would she find this sweet or outdated? If she is quite close to her family, it might be a nice touch to arrange for them to meet at the restaurant after the proposal. Our good friend Karen Miyanaga at the Ritz Carlton thought she was just going for a lovely Sunday brunch with her boyfriend. But he surprised her with an unforgettable question. What followed is something that she will never forget. He flew her parents from Japan to California to surprise her and share in the joy. We happened to be at the Ritz finishing up filming a morning-after brunch and saw her. I will never forget the joy in her face. It went so far beyond joy to a place for which I have no word. What a great way to start a marriage, with the utmost consideration.

We've heard of creative proposals which clearly had the bride in mind. Some have been simple - a Scrabble board with "Will You Marry Me" spelled out to a bride who loved to play Scrabble. Some have been elaborate vacations to a tropical paradise, or a trip to a restaurant that has become "our place".

I don't know why, but a large number of proposals do not go as originally planned. Our friend John planned to ask Stacie to marry him while vacationing in Quebec. The weather was rainy and blustery, but he plowed ahead with his plan and took her outside, set up a small camera and proposed anyway. It is hilarious to see, because you can't hear a word over the 30 mph winds! He created a short video with sub-titles, which makes it even funnier. Until you see Stacie's reaction. Then, you cry.

And if all else fails, there are proposal planners who can help you come up with an idea and plan it so it is perfect. There are some independent ones, some at luxury hotels and resorts. The skills required are similar to those required of wedding plannes, so that may be a route to go. Or, you can advertise on Do My Stuff to find a proposal planner. www.domystuff.com/rfp.php?id=18037598

And of course you'll need a ring. The proposal is something she will always treasure, remember and talk about - so make it a good one.