My Favorite Actresses

I am awed by great acting. There are some actors who have wonderful insight into the varied characters they play. The first time you see a great performer, you recognize they are going to be great. Like Meryl Streep in a tiny role in the made for TV movie Holocaust. She was on screen for less than a minute, but we never forgot that performance. 

And there are actors who change so completely for each role, you hardly recognize them. Take a look at Joan Allen in Peggy Sue Got Married behind those nerdy glasses vs her role in the Contender.

So here are a dozen of my favorite actresses and some of the roles in which I've enjoyed seeing them.

Amy Adams - Enchanted, Charlie Wilson's War, Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day, Doubt, Julie & Julia

Joan Allen - Peggy Sue Got Married, Tucker, Pleasantville, The Contender, The Notebook, Bourne Supremacy

Cate Blanchett - Elizabeth, An Ideal Husband, Talented Mr Ripley, Lord of Rings, The Aviator, Babel, Indiana Jones and Kingdom of Crystal Skull, Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Jennifer Connelly - Rocketeer, Pollock, A Beautiful Mind, House of Sand and Fog, Blood Diamond

Anne Hathaway - Princess Diaries, Brokeback Mountain, Devil Wears Prada, Becoming Jane

Frances McDormand - Fargo, Lone Star, Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day, Burn After Reading

Helen Mirren - Excalibur, White Nights, Calendar Girls, The Queen

Julianne Moore - An Ideal Husband, End of the Affair, Far From Heaven

Michelle Pfeiffer - Witches of Eastwick, Married to the Mob, Dangerous Liasons, Fabulous Baker Boys, Russia House, Batman Returns, Age of Innocence, Up Close and Personal, What Lies Beneath, Stardust

Meryl Streep - Julia, Holocaust, Deer Hunter, Kramer vs Kramer, French Lieutenant's Woman, Sophie's Choice, Out of Africa, River Wild, Bridges of Madison County, Devil Wears Prada, Julie & Julia

Tilda Swinton - Michael Clayton, Burn After Reading, Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Naomi Watts - Dangerous Beauty, King Kong, Painted Veil, Eastern Promises

Best Movie Scenes in History

If there was a contest for the best acted, most moving scene in a movie, what would it be? We've come up with a few, but feel free to suggest your own and why.

Meryl Streep, Sophie's Choice - explaining what is Sophie's Choice.

Damien Lewis, The Forsyte Saga - after his wife leaves him for another man, Soames Forsyte caresses his wife's empty dress and lets the dam break of decades-long pent up tears.

Ayush Mahesh Khedekar, Slumdog Millionaire - every scene in which he plays the young Jamal

Christian Bale, Empire of the Sun - showing the wonder of being a child, oblivious to the dangers of war

Johnny Depp, Nick of Time - reacting to the impossible choice of having to kill a highly placed public figure in order to save his kidnapped daughter's life

Toshiro Mifune, High and Low - the scene of panic he experiences on the train when he can't open the window to throw the ransom money to the kidnappers to retrieve his child

Guy Pierce, L.A. Confidential - walking the tightrope of extreme ambition vs integrity vs lust

Jake Gyllenhaal, October Sky - a convincing performance of a boy from a dingy little West Virginia coal town who looks at the sky and imagines a future as a rocket scientist. About as likely as a pig with wings. Or so says your father. But maybe your dream will come true with the guidance of a dedicated teacher and the support of everyone in town.

New Trend in Veils - the Bird Cage

Q:  What's the latest in veils? 

A:  Bird cage veils are making a comeback. Not since the Hollywood glamour days of the 1940s have these veils, and the hair accessories, been so in vogue. Maybe it started when Drew Barrymore wore one on Grey Gardens. Maybe it is the compromise between having a traditional length veil and no veil at all. 

Whatever is responsible for the trend, it is undoubtedly stylish and flattering to almost every bride.    

Where can you get the components - feathers, combs, tulle? At your local fabric store, a phenomenal store such as Britex on Union Square in San Francisco, or at Unveiled Bridal Designs online.

Here are a few more examples.

I'm Horrified, But Can't Look Away

I confess. I'm semi-hooked on watching the TV show Bridezilla. I'm not sure if it's that I feel like a voyeur watching the brides' vindictive rages that feed on themselves. Or whether it's watching the hapless victims take the abuse when all they have to do is walk away and it would be the bride who would suffer. Or whether it is the extreme self-centeredness and entirely frivolous and trivial issues the brides rant about to create the drama that fascinates me. Eventually I can't stand it anymore and turn it off...until the next time.

But here's what I do know. There's always a reaction for every action. Karmic retribution is real. Members of the wedding party start dropping out at the last minute when they've had enough of being treated like a slave, being humiliated, scolded and scorned. Family rifts are started that fester for decades. People start responding to the brides in-kind with the same level of meanness and disrespect.

But what is the opposite of a bridezilla? It is the thoughtful bride. How can you spot such a bride?

--Throughout the planning process, she solicited and incorporated her groom's preferences and suggestions, both large and small, whether they fit with her vision or not.

--She is genuinely thrilled that someone came to her wedding and doesn't care what present the guest brought, or even if they brought a gift at all.

--She privately and publicly thanks every person - parents, wedding party members, friends and wedding professionals - for contributing to making the day special with their love, their time and their talents.

--She is totally present when speaking to the grandest or the smallest guest. She is not offering a perfunctory "Thanks for coming." without even looking in their direction.

--She savors every moment. She takes time to whisper in her groom's ear how happy he has made her and that she will try to make him happy every day for the rest of their lives.

Of all the weddings we've witnessed, the thoughtful bride is what makes the most memorable wedding. And it doesn't cost a penny.

Promises and Pearls

Dear Lovely Brides,

Would you like to be invited to an elegant evening at which you can learn more about services for your wedding? No hassles, no pressure, just pure enjoyment.

Well, let me invite you to register for Promises and Pearls, a complimentary evening on July 8, from 6 PM to 9 PM at the Payne Mansion in San Francisco. It will be hosted by Michelle at MB Wedding Design and Events, a lovely and dedicated event planner full of great design ideas.

Oh - and make sure you stop by The Flirty Guide booth and say "Hi!" to my good friend Stacie Tamaki. Her roster of event professionals is top notch. We are proud to be on her list.

Tell your friends! Go and have a good time! Enjoy!

Why I Love 'Don't Tell the Bride'

OK I admit it. I've become hooked on that British TV show Don't Tell the Bride. The premise is that a groom gets $20,000 to plan the wedding. The catch is that he has to plan the wedding in 30 days and he can't talk with the bride or get her input. And $20,000 doesn't go any further in merry old England than it does in the States.

Why do I love it so? Because I've learned something and confirmed another. 

First, almost all of the grooms hire the first venue they come across. Rookie mistake. Sometimes this takes up 50% or more of their budget! Those castles in England don't come cheap. But then the grooms are left with so little money, they can only cater a barbeque on the castle lawn (!), or go cap in hand to beg for additional funds from their parents. I suppose this is what makes for drama and humor. Often a level-headed friend will set it all to rights ("Are you crazy? You can't have a barbeque at a wedding!"). Or some considerate wedding professional will give good advice or a good deal to pull them out of the hole they've dug. 

For once, a reality show reflects reality. Couples feel pressured to hire or buy elements of their wedding as quickly as they find them for fear they'll never find anything else that suits them. Don't do it! Do some research to see what prices are realistic IN EVERY CATEGORY in the city where your wedding will take place so you can set priorities and make good choices. Otherwise, will this really be the wedding of your dreams? Spending a little more time on research and setting priorities up front will save a lot of heartache later.

After making that initial mistake, the grooms go on to make an even bigger one. They ALWAYS pick a dress that their brides HATE. After many tears (hers) and gnashing of teeth (his),  the groom manages to scrape up enough money to buy a second dress even though he couldn't get any money back for the first dress. He has made his bride happy about the one thing that mattered most to her. Then the bride is able to give the groom the one thing that matters most to him - appreciation for his efforts, no matter how things turned out. The bride maintains a regal bearing and a bemused look as she surveys the rest of the groom's odd decisions.

That brings me to what has been confirmed. 

What it really comes down to is understanding what is important to each key participant - bride, groom, parents - before going on the first site visit. Then, it's a balancing act to make sure everyone is happy, while sticking to the budget. The extent to which the bride and groom understand, communicate and respect each other's wishes and feelings, and those of their families, gives a clue about how the rest of their married life will go.

It won't be long now before they come up with the American version. I can't wait.

Get Married

Do you know the fun Lifetime TV show Get Married hosted by celebrity event designer Colin Cowie? The show is best known for bringing the latest trends and inspirations to brides.

Well, in addition to their hit TV show and their great website, Get Married is launching a new national wedding magazine and the first issue will appear on newsstands in October, 2009. You can reserve your FREE copy now by sending Get Married an email.

More details to follow...

Life in Stop Motion

Want clever? Watch!

If you would like to see a behind-the-scenes "making of", check this out.

Mean Kitty Video of the Week

It's Friday and you know what that means...time for Video of the Week.

So why does this piece deserve to be our Video of the Week? 

1. Visual images, lyrics and music are complementary.

2. The order of the images tells an entertaining tale.

3. We like cats.

4. The guy is kinda cute.

This is a fun piece of fluff. It doesn't have to be lofty to merit 3 1/2 minutes of our time.

Yearbook Smiles Predict Marriage Success

Want to predict if you will stay married? Take out your high school yearbook. If you are smiling, you are more likely to have a long marriage. I did not make this up! A research study at DePauw University scored high school yearbook pictures based on a "smile intensity score". They found the top 10% of smilers had a 5% divorce rate, and the bottom 10% smilers (the non-smilers) had a 25% divorce rate. Their explanation? People with positive emotionality may attract happier people or interpret events more positively.

And keep smiling!

What a Girl Wants

Proof- once again - that what men want and what women want are two different things. Even though this Heineken ad is in Dutch, you will have no difficulty understanding what you are seeing.

The Immediate Experience

Movies. What are they all about? The best ones are about the human experience. The immediate experience. Relationships. Emotions. Feelings. Comfort. Inspiration. Misery. They shed light on our own experiences. 

The best movies create the same feelings in you at the same point in the story every time you see them. So which are some of my favorites? 

Field of Dreams - despair, then hope and the magic that can come from a child-like faith, when "Doc" saves the little girl who was choking on a hot dog

E.T. - again, despair then hope, as E.T. lifts Elliott heavenward across the sky just as the Feds are closing in - a magical moment in film history

Schindler's List - transformation from selfishness to selflessness and witnessing that one person can make a difference

Casablanca - sacrifice of personal happiness for the greater good; "Here's lookin' at you kid."

It's a Wonderful Life - a life full of deeds of quiet heroism and generosity add up to "Here's to my big brother George. The richest man in Bedford Falls."

The Color Purple - when Celie and her sister are reunited and Celie sees her children for the first time in 20 years, your heart soars. Even the improbable can come to pass.

Why does it matter? Because there are more great moments at weddings than in even the greatest movie. And, those moments should be preserved - exactly as you experienced them - with a cheeringfamily, live music, and just a tiny tear glistening at the corner of your eye. A great wedding movie delivers the immediate experience.

Don't Tell the Bride

Have you seen the BBC television show, Don't Tell the Bride? 

The premise is that a groom gets $20,000 and has a month to plan a dream wedding for his bride. The catch is that they can have no contact prior to the wedding and the bride can have no input. As with any (un)reality TV show, you have to suspend your disbelief. Who would risk everything going wrong on their wedding day? And, it's been rumored that the producers purposely undermine the wedding day just enough to (gasp!) create tension which can result in a happy ending. 

I admit that I've seen parts of two episodes and there are some nuggets we can glean.

Lesson #1: The grooms do much better than you might imagine. Afterwards, they have a much greater appreciation of how much hard work goes into planning a wedding.

Lesson #2: The brides are more forgiving than you might imagine.

Lesson #3: The biggest sticking point seems to be selecting a wedding gown. Brides have definite ideas about what they want, and the grooms are usually clueless. 

One groom designed the dress himself, complete with RED boning on the corset bodice and red lacing in the back. It had a slightly goth flavor. His mother counseled him that ivory would be more suitable, and to his credit, he wisely took her suggestion. His bride still hated the dress when she saw it the day before the wedding. So, he scrapped his plan and bought the dress of her dreams. Good man. This marriage might last.

Lesson #4: Weddings are as expensive in England as they are in San Francisco and the $20,000 budget doesn't go very far. If the groom rents the castle (literally) of his dreams, there is very little left to pay for everything else. The invitations are likely to be flyers printed at Kinko's (but sealed with red wax), the decor will be balloons not flowers, the linens will be paper tablecloths not linen, the cake will come from a supermarket and the meal may be a BBQ. But the castle, horse drawn carriage, elaborate lighting and belly dancers will be great. It's always a matter of priorities. And goofy priorities make for lively reality TV entertainment. 

Lesson #5: In the end, it's all about how well the groom knows his bride's preferences and taste and how well both the bride and groom understand that starting with the wedding, marriage is all about compromise and pleasing the other person.

Lesson #6: Those British accents are so darned cute.

Worst Wedding Invitation

The folks over at BrideTide posted the worst wedding invitation. Tragically funny.

If Today Was Your Last Day on Earth

This is the season of graduations. We've all heard at least commencement speakers. Some boring, some inspirational. Sure, there was Ellen DeGeneres' Tulane speech last week, and President Obama's Notre Dame speech. But, we selected Steve Jobs' 2005 commencement speech at Stanford University. 

Why?

We as a species are story tellers and Steve Jobs spins a wonderful tale. He's not eloquent. He reads from his notes. His presentation isn't stellar. But, his words and thoughts are powerful. This speech changed my opinion of Steve Jobs. That's powerful - changing minds. 

At first I thought I'd watch this 15-minute piece for a few minutes, but gradually, I was drawn in and wanted to hear more. And I stayed until the very end.

Among other things, Steve said, "If you live every day as though it is your last, one day you will be right. If what you are about to do today is different than what you would do if this was your last day, then something has to change."

Something Borrowed, Something Blue

Brides are seeking creative ways to carry on through these troubled economic times and still have stylish weddings. So, in the spirit of having style on a budget, but still having the real deal, here's a suggestion.  

Celebrities who walk the red carpet borrow real jewels to accessorize their fabulous gowns. Although you are not likely to be able to waltz into Chopard, Harry Winston, or Fred Leighton and borrow a bauble, you can rent real jewelry for your wedding. 

The necklaces Adorn offers are worth from $1500 to $70,000; bracelets worth from $3000 to $20,000; and earrings are worth from $2000 to $20,000. You can rent these jewels for 3% to 5% of their retail value for a few days, from $90 each.

Just 'cause you're on a budget doesn't mean you can't be princess for a day.

Win an Alfred Angelo Wedding Gown

Here's a contest to win a bride's heart. For brides getting married in September 2009 or later, you can play a video game on the Get Married website and if you are the high scorer, you could win an Alfred Angelo wedding gown valued at up to $1800.

Timeless Beauty

Brides are more sophisticated and stylish than ever.  They have the desire and, thanks to the internet, they have the ability to research every aspect of their wedding. So what did brides do before the 1990's?  

Will You Be My Bridesmaid answers that question, at least in the realm of fashion. This unique blog showcases the fashions of the times in photos of bridesmaids from each decade starting in the 1940's. Many of the brides and their entourage were fashionable for the times. But in a few cases one wonders, what were they thinking? 

1950s

1960s

1970s

1980s

1990s

Danny Macaskill, Video of the Week

Who inspires us? Sometimes it is someone you've never met. You feel as if, as with Michelangelo's painting, the Creation of Adam on the Sistine chapel, that man is touching perfection. When you witness someone doing what they love and what they are so good at, you feel a special sort of joy. 

With a well-crafted movie, the content, the filming and the editing all help you feel the joy that the performer feels. So here is the Video of the Week of the amazing bicycle acrobatic skills of Danny MacAskill.

5 Whimsical Wedding Cakes

We've seen our fair share of wedding cakes. They've ranged from very simple white fondant icing with a wide ribbon  of the groom's family tartan at the base of each layer to Shinmin Li's I Dream of Cake and Sam Godfrey's Perfect Endings fantasy creations.

But honestly we haven't seen much whimsy or tasteful humor. So today...here come the whimsical cakes.

The first two create a fresh contemporary happy feeling. The last three take a turn for, well, for wedding hell.

For more unique cakes, visit the Austin Wedding Blog.